Christians are straight up FREAKS
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
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