around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Randomize
