exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
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