Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
Randomize
