i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Randomize
