Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
Never let your siblings swipe right.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
I had to cum in my sink.
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