It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
