There's a woman at Starbucks that keeps pushing her stroller into me.
Punch her baby.
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
Randomize
