A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
Randomize
