I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
He is an equal opportunity slut.
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
Randomize
