yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
