I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
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