Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
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