I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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