im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
I deserve this hangover.
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
Randomize
