walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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