I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
I could fuck to npr.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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