final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
