Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
I wish I had a tail.
...why not?
Randomize
