as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize
