she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
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