just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
