And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Randomize
