I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
Randomize
