Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
Randomize
