boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
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