Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
this beer tastes like vomit already
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
His hands were made for my vagina.
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
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