I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
My life is pants optional.
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
