I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
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