We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
I feel like a drive thru vagina
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
