I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
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