What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
I forgot wine drunk hurts
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
Randomize
