I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
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