if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
Randomize
