Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
I need to wash the frat house off of me
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
