found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
Randomize
