It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
Randomize
