she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
Randomize
