Cold hands, warm shart.
So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
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