My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Randomize
