it's too hot outside to masturbate.
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
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