look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize
