addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
Come home. Im drunk and cutting my own hair. This is bad, i need you.
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Randomize
