guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
