I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
