i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
