ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Randomize
