Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
Randomize
