problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Randomize
