we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
My dad just said "fuck circus"
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
Randomize
