Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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