Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
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